Derby. I love Derby. But at this point in time it doesn't love me. I haven't been to derby in a long time and I don't know what to do anyway. I took time off to focus on myself, my boyfriend, and my health. In that time the derby team I skated with split. I don't know the whole story, but I do know that a lot of the girls left. It's drama. Drama always happens with a group of people. But I have tried not to focus on it. I feel damned if I do damned if I don't at this point either stay with my team or not. I am going to take the opportunity to work on me. I will eventually end up back with derby in some way. I am determined. I miss skating so much and everything derby still completely attracts me.
Let me start by saying I HATE new years resolutions. Why make a goal that most people can't stand by. So this is NOT a new years resolution. But for now I am working on me. I have started working out again at work. I am going to use this blog as a recording place for my workouts, my thoughts, my fears, and anything else. At this point I have worked out two days. It's been about three months since I was working out and surprisingly I missed it. I had no idea that I would have missed it as much as I did. I look forward to it. My goals aren't to become skinny. I say that, but yes it is always in the back of my mind. I want to be stronger, healthier, and better. Better than I am now.
At this point I am not changing my diet other than trying to be smart about my snack choices, the amount I eat, and just conscious of my eating habits. I did stop going to Weight Watchers. It was not the right time in my life for me and it wasn't working. I didn't have the support I needed at the meetings in a close friend and waking up in the middle of my sleep schedule to drive to work for a 20 minute meeting then to drive home then back to work. It wasn't good to screw up my already finicky sleep schedule.
I am logging my workouts in a notebook, not to schedule what I am doing, but to keep track of where I have come from. So as of right now what I might do is either post a few days at a time or post them as I do them. I will probably vary it depending on what my days are like. For now I am also working out slowly. I can't get away from injuries even when I am not active... I have sprained the muscles in my lower back that support my spine. It sucks. I have been taking pain medicine to get through the day and muscle relaxers when I have no place to be and can sleep. My doctor said it was okay to workout, just take it easy until my back has healed all the way. I am basically just doing the bike and treadmill. I will pick the elliptical and free weights back up when my back stops hurting and having spasms. I feel like a failure by not doing them right now, but I really need to focus on that it's not what I can't do, it's that I do what I can. And that something is better than nothing.
On a different note....
For those that don't know, I am engaged!!! I'm getting married in 23 days from today :) I am super excited for my life coming up and to make the step toward forever. My fiance is the greatest guy I could ever imagine and he has my heart completely. I don't doubt for a second that he is the one for me. Okay, okay, enough sappiness. :)
~ <3 Kiss My Blarney
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