Karate in Derby

I didn't need to worry so much. I am glad I went to derby last night and I am glad the girls missed me. That made me feel more and more like a huge part of the team. And to top it off I am not the only LOA person anyway. I am not alone.

So over the course of derby training I see more and more things from Karate that influence my thoughts of derby. Lots of little lessons that apply greatly and affect what I do. Somethings don't help derby because of the natural differences in the sports, but most do.  In Karate you want to have your wait centered and low. The more centered it is the more stable you are, the lower it is the more control you have. The same with derby, other than your weight distribution is now 6 inches taller. Every time we lay down on the floor I have a hard time laying my head (even in a helmet) on the ground. Years of Karate training of keeping your head off the ground has me slightly twitching when others do not keep theirs off the ground too.

If anyone has ever trained with any type of martial arts you know that hips are important. Any type of throw, punch, block, kick, anything. Everything uses your hips to some degree. After I had my shoulder surgery I was put on restrictions in karate. I could practice everything without my hands. My Sensei made me practice all my hip movements without my arms. Granted this made me feel SO stupid. But it worked. When I got my arms back all my moves with arms where stronger, more direct.

 I have practiced my booty blocks on my own in that same way. I like to think that I have a strong hip motion and can defend myself with the rest of them. The hardest part for me when blocking or doing hits isn't getting the power behind it to do it or to defend someone else. I am a big girl with a solid body. The hardest part is the balance. I have to work harder to keep my body weight low. The lower I get it the less anyone will be able to knock me down. One day I will be great at this.

I try to use the mentality of Karate in derby. It doesn't always help to zen out and let your body just do. In derby you are a part of a team, you have to always be aware of what the others are doing. But I am grateful for my years in karate and the help they have given in not just everyday life but in my new world of derby. There are so many more things that I find alike between the two. Maybe as I learn more I can write again on it.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

LOA

LOA stands for Leave of Absence. They say it happens to every skater at some point in their skating career. I am still not sure how I feel about this. Part of me is scared to go back because I have been away and part of me feels like a failure because I am taking a break. My mom had to have surgery so I was out a little for that, My boyfriend is in the military and preparing for his ever upcoming deployment, and I have had training at work. Life happens to get in the way and luckily I know I can go back when everything equals out. My coach reached out to me to let me know that it is okay to take the LOA and that my team is still there for me. After a few weeks of not skating I am going to go back part time starting tomorrow. I may not be skating every practice but I will be there to support my team and help them out.

Like I said, I am scared to go back. That pesky little voice of doubt in the back of my head makes it harder. Sometimes I feel like the team won't be there for me when I need them. But on the other side of the token I am not one to ask for help. So it puts me in quite a conundrum. In the end I am going to practice tomorrow no matter what. I just hope it goes over well.

In other news I am stupid. Okay, so not stupid per say, but made a stupid choice. When I got home from visiting my mom I was inspecting me skates. My feet were still hurting and I had read on several message boards that your feet can hurt if the skates are not the right size. Now, in the past I have always tried on things. Normally shoes, skates, boots, whatever have been too small. So if it isn't too small then normally it fits. This is why I have a pair of converses that are slightly too big. AND a pair of skates. Usually I never noticed it was an issue in skating other than what I thought was my normal clumsiness. But when I try to go onto my toe stops I can feel my foot sliding slightly. That might be part of the reason why I don't feel comfortable at all doing that and practicing. So in my stupidity I hope to help someone to learn that it is ALWAYS important to try things on. Don't just go for what fits, go for what fits well and completely. Hopefully with a pair that fits I can skate a little better, trust them a little more, and be less of a klutz.

So to fix this I went to a used sport store in the 'big city' down the way. I called ahead and they had two skates that were about my size. So I went with a friend and tried them both on. Right now I skate on Riedell R3.  At the store they had Riedell Carrera and Roller Derby brand of skates. The Roller Derby brand skates looked to be a higher designed style, but the boot was worn down. Someone had not used toe stop covers so the boot was extremely frayed. The Carrera was in great condition, in a box, and even with the registration card. The price for both of them was the same. They both fit the same. Which to me is weird. My R3 are size 11 and too big. The Carrera said on the box it was men's size and 11, fits better and is smaller than the R3. No idea. So I decided to go with the Carrera. My plan is to keep the R3, and either upgrade the boot in time or just keep the skate as a spare pair if I need them in case something happens to my "new" Carrera. So I paid 1/3 the price for a well taken care of pair of skates.

I am having an issue on one of the skates with removing the Carrera toe stop. It only turns a half turn each direction. I am still working and researching on ways to get it off. I will update how I get it off eventually in case anyone else has this issue.

I hope through this people can learn from my mistakes and not make the same ones.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

Don't judge a road by your car

So last weekend I went home for a few days to visit my parents. It wasn't all smiles and dreams, but that isn't important. Health is getting better and that is what counts. So right before I left I got my new wheels! I decided to go with Poisons. They are this insanely glow in the dark green color, although I don't really think they glow in the dark. Anyway, with new wheels I got new bearings. So I went to Youtube for a few videos on changing bearings. After about two minutes of watching I decided to try it. I successfully put the new bearings in the new wheels and put them on my skates!! I still need to learn to clean the wheel bearings, but that will come a little later.

So my parents live in the corner of Arkansas that is flat. I figured it would be great to go skating on. The issue with this is yes, my roads are flat. But no, they aren't smooth. Arkansas roadways suck. There are cracks all over, weeds growing in the middle, and just all around horrible skateway. This really kind of bummed me out. I was really looking forward to trying the new wheels out. But I learned a valuable lesson. I hadn't been home since I started Derby and learned that you CANNOT judge a road from long term memory in your car.

I did try to skate on it and I didn't make it too far. About two houses down I decided that it just wasn't for me. Beside the road being cracked out like nobody's business my back was bugging me. Early that day I had gone swimming with a friend and her kids that I used to watch. Her boy and I were horsing around and I had tweaked something in my back. It didn't hurt much until I tried to skate. I decided to stop trying to skate and let my back rest and I did. It took a few days but now my back is good to go. I still need to try out my new wheels outside. If I can't before next derby practice I will get more practice in changing my wheels. One day I will have a second pair of skates so I can just trade out skates. But that isn't yet.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

Still Here, Still Skating

Just a quick post so you guys know I am still alive. I have been extremely busy with work the past few weeks.  Yesterday was a great day in the derby world. We went to a skate park to try to skate. Our Coach used to skate on a banked track and has experience with skating up ramps and such. Wow. I know I don't have lots of confidence on my own and I SURE don't have it at the skate park either. I could skate around the park itself. Not a huge deal, some was slightly up hill, some slightly down hill. The scary part was the ramps. I wasn't going to try to half pipe type ramps yet. So just tried a ramp that went from the second level down. That was a bad idea.

First I tried going up. I didn't have enough speed and half way up my momentum started to slow me down. My first thought was 'Oh crap, I'm not going to make it. BACKWARDS? NO......' So I tried to push while going up. I pushed alright, straight onto my knees. Yup, thankfully we have knee pads on. (They also helped me climb up the ramp on my knees so I didn't have to get up on the ramp or slide down.) You would think that  with this experience behind me I would be smart enough to realize that going down would be just as hard. Nope. I will try most things once. If I fail it might be a bit before I try again. So what did I do? I tried to go down. I went down. There is no mistaking that. I went down fast and hard. Right on my butt. Thankfully I turned slightly so I didn't land square on my tailbone. I have bruised it before and that is no bueno. At this point I decided to give up the skate park idea at the moment. After the five or so minutes to recover from the pain in my butt I crawled back up the ramp and decided to watch the other girls. We had several girls that KICKED butt and the skate park. We fell a lot, but all the girls tried a ramp or two at least once. It was interesting hearing the guys on skateboards and bikes talk about us. When we first got there half of the park left. One of the girls overheard one of the other skaters say that he didn't know that a "skate park" meant that kind of skates. In my opinion then why allow bikes? We are skaters too, with skills to work on. Just because we are safer, wear gear, have more wheels, and are GIRLS doesn't mean we can't.

My favorite part of the practice was the hang out afterward. We all went to the pool and had a mini pool party. It was great. Up until the time I had to leave to go to work. Let me just say I was exhausted all night. Today I am a little sore from the swimming and the skating in the park. But I woke up to a nice surprise...

New gear!!! I ordered some gear from one of our sponsors. I have to go home middle of this week to my parents house for some family stuff. I won't be able to skate in a rink for at least a week. But there is always outside. So I finally ordered those poison wheels!! I will let you guys know what I think. I ordered new bearings, lower ABEC rating than my normal ones though, so we will see how that goes. Also got new toe stops (bigger the better in my opinion for a fat kid!), bearing oil, and some new laces. My favorite part was that I ordered them less than a week ago knowing that I would have them before I left! Any person who orders any skate gear, whether for roller skates, skateboards, inlines, what have you will know the fun part of any package is A)putting the gear together and using for the first time (half of this is done so far) and 2) getting the stickers! I have been and always will be a sticker whore. Thankfully another one of our sponsors is a sticker company...Watch out ladies, I'm getting stickers!!

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

Oh what fun!

Sunday was a non derby day. Well, that's a lie. It was a non skating derby day. We had our team photo shoot! Our photographer kicked butt and what we have seen so far is so amazing. We went up to this antique mall that has a few abandoned buildings nearby and we each got to pick where we wanted our personal pictures to be at. I choose this old window that was painted red at one point and was peeling and mainly white. It was really cool experience. Next was our team photos. I have only seen one of them at this point, can't wait to see the rest. It was also a great team builder for us.

Afterward we all went out for drinks and a good time. I learned a lot about my teammates and a lot about myself. This game called corn hole...There are two boards and four bean bags per team. Two teams take turns throwing bean bags at the board. Not sure how points are scored. But I did learn that I sucked at this game. Not a huge deal, but it was still really fun. Knowing the people you skate with is just as important as knowing how to skate. You have to be able to trust the ones you skate with, trust they they have your back on and off the track. Your team is your family. In times of need your teammates need to be there for you and vice-versa.  I can't wait for more team days with my derby family. I love these girls so much.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

You have to know when to stop

Sunday was an interesting practice. I am still trying to get my right foot to stop cramping when I skate. So I tried to skip a hole at the main point where I cramp up. It actually helped quite a bit. It still hurt some, but I think was more of a tired hurt than what I have had in the past. Hopefully it will keep working and I can completely get rid of the pain. If not it looks like I will be spending some money and getting custom inserts, hopefully this will help.

Sunday practice was as usual an endurance building practice. I would like to think that if my foot didn't hurt so bad that I would be able to have a little more endurance, but I will only be able to find that out once I get rid of that pain. We practiced our basics a bunch, basics that I have yet to practice or learn. We started with shoulder and hip checks. Basically that is when you use the respective body part to hit an opposing player. Luckily I have big hips and lots of power in them. A lot of that is from my time in Karate.  I wasn't at the point to receive hits, but I did give them.

Then we worked on blocking with our butt. This always reminds me of a sticker I found at one point: "I love you with my butt, I would love you with my heart but my butt is bigger." I do need to learn how to juke a little bit better to be able to block more. Juking is when you pick up your skates of the floor and side step. I think I did okay with the technique though. When I was being booty blocked by my partner I did a few things that would be considered a foul. Those things I need to work on not doing but there is only one way, practice! You are NOT allowed to touch the back of an opposing team member and you are not allowed to bump them out of your way from behind. So basically if you are getting booty blocked the only thing you can do about it is get around them or at least get side by side to them. Then you can hip or shoulder check them.

If you ever want to look super silly practice hip and shoulder checks and booty blocking by yourself. Basically you get into your derby stance (a low squat) and pop your hip/shoulder out to where your want to "hit." I suggest if you practice this at home do when nobody is around and practice hitting your hip/shoulder against the wall or couch if your couch is tall enough. If someone is around grab them and try to knock them over with your hips. It may sound really stupid, but powerful hips are a good thing! Granted some of my hip power is front and back from Karate and this is side to side. I am not sure if I would be able to use my hips to block backward, I might accidentally try to use another technique from Karate like elbow them. That would be a major penalty, so I think I might leave that out.

After the majority of practice my right shoulder began to hurt a lot. I had shoulder surgery two and a half years ago and it took a long time to nurse it back to the strength that it needs to be at. It still isn't perfect. I can't put my full weight on it for something like a push up, but I can push myself off the floor to get up. The good thing was that it wasn't hurting like I re-injured it, it was more of a super tired sore with weakness. But those who know me should be proud. I stopped then and got off my skates. In the past I push myself through my injuries and that is the WORST thing you can do. If your muscles hurt from working out, yes work through it. But injuries you should stop. I know that if I kept skating that I would continue to push it. At that point if I fell I would do one of two things: either try to catch myself with my arm and actually injury myself again or I would have try to not fall anywhere near that side and I would have injured something else. But after a night of ice and rest my shoulder is doing alright again.

I am very happy with the group that I skate with. We are becoming super close. Some of the girls like to push me and make me try things that I am afraid of. I am very grateful to them for that. The best part? They seem to know when to push me and when not to. At last practice they were jumping, I am not ready for that at all. I used to jump on skates but that was a long time ago and it scares me now. They didn't try to get me to do that at all.

 Last Thursday we were doing a few skills around a square, every corner was a different skill. I may not have been able to do every skill, but they convinced me to try. I did finish the square which made me happy. Although I had a spill in the middle. I was trying to do a 180 knee fall. You go down on one knee and turn 180 degrees so you are facing the opposite direction. I am not sure what went wrong but after my knee fall I turned. Somehow I landed completely on one of my boobs, so hard in fact, that I knocked my glasses clear off. Other than the mammogram from the floor I was completely fine. I could only imagine the pain I might have had if I didn't have natural padding.

Tomorrow is my first official Weight Watchers meeting. I will be paying for the month and signing up right before. I hope to start learning what I need to do to make my life better. I may be posting a few things on here as I go, but we shall see.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

A Journey of the Fat Kid

I wasn't always a "fat kid" but for most my life I have been. Lets face it, kids are cruel. Let me tell you a little story about this girl I knew. She always got picked on in school. Some made comments that she should drink Slim Fast instead of Slim Slow. Or threatened to buy her a subscription to Jenny Craig. For the longest time she took everything to heart. She thought she was a fat kid and not worthy of anything. Diets scared her because that meant everyone was right, that she was fat.  This girl was always told by some people that were close to her that she would be beautiful if she was skinnier. She would be prettier if she was skinnier. Most of those things were told to her out of "love" and "concern".  That girl is me.

Do you know how long it took me to overcome the things I was told when I was a kid? Me neither. I still battle putting myself down, thinking of myself as the fattest person in the room, and thinking I am not skinny enough to do something. When I walk in to a room I still compare myself to people, sometimes. I'm getting better. I don't think I am beautiful. If beauty was purely seen as under the skin I would like to think I am beautiful, but on the surface I am not. I don't think I am pretty either. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think I am ugly. I've gotten past that point in my perception of myself. I just am. I owe a lot of credit of me gaining self confidence to my boyfriend though. He may not always tell me I am beautiful, but he tells me I am perfect. That I am the one for him. You may think it petty but it makes me so happy when he sees a pretty girl, a skinny girl, and I say I think she is cute, and all he can tell me is what isn't perfect on her. That gives me hope. Sometimes I think he lies when he says I am what he wants, but I try everyday to believe it more and more. A lot of the credit goes to him that I am finally comfortable in my skin. I am not necessarily happy in my skin, but I am comfortable. I have accepted that I am a fat kid. And you know what? I'm okay with that. But what I am not okay with is that it affects me in things other than the size of my clothes.

My Dad and one of my brothers are both diabetic. And don't assume they both are type 2 either. My parents have lots of cholesterol, blood pressure, and sleeping problems. As of right now the only medical issue I have like that is Insomnia, but that may or may not be caused by my weight. I do have other medical issues that are suppose to "reduce" if I loose weight. Pain might go away, injuries might happen less, and I most likely will be able to keep my blood work good. I want to not have to worry about what may happen later in life. Part of my wants to look good for my boyfriend, part of me wants to be healthy, and all of me wants to be happy. I have a long way to go for all of this. And everything I do will help me with things I love. The more weight that falls off the better my knees should feel, the lower my derby stance will get (hopefully), and faster I will get.

My goal in life is NOT to be size 6. I don't want to weight 145 lbs. I don't care. Well, some of me does, but I don't want to. I want to be healthy, happy, and good at derby. I know I have lost roughly 35 pounds in the past year and a half. All I did for that was walk more at work, Zumba randomly with friends, and dance on the Wii often. But I switched jobs so I don't walk as much, Zumba was dropped for derby, and dancing on the Wii just didn't fit into my schedule anymore. I need help with this if this is something I am going to accomplish. I don't want to be a skinny person. I don't have the mentality for it and I am not a skinny person inside. I am a big girl and for once in my life I am that person and I am proud to be me. That being said I have an opportunity to better myself, not change myself, and I am going to take it.

It took me awhile to decide that I was going to post about this. It took my awhile to decide to open my blog up to my Facebook family too. But I did, and the response wasn't negative like I was afraid of. This blog is for me and maybe to help someone else if they need it, not for anything else. And for me I need to be able to talk about what I am going through in all things Derby and all things that affect Derby. And my weight loss will affect my Derby. Therefore I will put this on here. I am joining Weight Watchers. I need help with my weight and my health. It may not be for me, but I can't be scared to try. I can't let those cruel kids in my past influence what I need to do for me. I have talked with the leader of my group and I will not know my numbers. I don't want to know what I weigh today and I don't want to know what I weigh next week. I will know when I reach my "goal weight" of being healthy. I don't want to get stuck in the number game and get sucked into goals of what I reached and what I failed at. I take failure to heart. I don't want that to affect me in this. I need this to maintain being fun, my own choice, and not a have to thing. So I may or may not post my exact losses on here. That will have to be determined as I go. But I am taking the first step for me. I am and always will be a big girl, and that is okay with me. I just want to be a healthy and active big girl.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

This has to be one of the hardest posts for me at this point, but as with the lessons I am learning in life, sometimes you just have to go with it.

Product Review: Knee Pads

187 Pro Knee Pads: http://www.187killerpads.com/pro-knee-pads.php

Anyone who has ever skated and fallen on their knees know that your knees take a LOT of pressure on them. 
My second day at derby I fell on my knee and bruised it fairly badly. It took several days, almost a week even for it to heal enough where it didn't hurt to get on my knees for stretches, let alone be able to fall on it. I was told that I really needed to get pads. I had no idea where to go or who to turn to. Online you have to know the correct measurements and I was afraid that because my upper thighs are bigger that a pad that would fit my knee wouldn't fit correctly. I was recommended by a fellow skater to a skate shop in the 'big' city.  I went in and the lady that owned the skate shop was awesome. She let me try on all the pads to figure out which ones fit best, had the most cushion, and what was in my price range.

Knee pads come in MANY styles. You can have ones with rivets and without. if you skate on a hardwood floor rivets can destroy it.  Some knee pads have more padding than others. There are ones that slide on and ones that Velcro on and many combinations there of. I tried on Triple Eight knee pads first. Their sizes are a little smaller than 187 in terms of how big they go. Again, I am a big girl, I need a bigger size. The 187's of course won b/c they had a size that fit. But between the two of them here is what I was told and what I thought. 187's had more padding on them. When you kneel down on them it feels like you are kneeling on to a mattress. Don't get me wrong Triple Eights have padding, just not what I was looking for. Also remember I was doing this WHILE having a bruise on my knee so I was a little pickier than I might have been otherwise.  Some people don't like that 187's are so much thicker. A major complaint of girls is that during crossovers their knee pads hit each other and affect their skating. Since I had to relearn how to crossover on corners I wasn't too worried about that. I like the Triple Eight pads and I knew that I wanted the wrist guards that they make. I hate mixing brands, but that's how it worked out for me. 187's where the best option. In terms of their knee pads they have more than one. I opted for the best of the styles because my knees aren't the best and I need to protect them.

Now for me skating with the 187's, I love them. I can do knee falls and it lessens the impact greatly. I haven't had an issue yet with them knocking as I cross over. My only downfall is that my knees are slightly inward on my legs. My bones that surround my knees are slightly misshapen so my knee cap isn't perfect. So as I fall it works well, but if I am doing exercise on my knees, the hard plate likes to slide across the floor. This makes it very complicated to do an exercise on one knee. But other than that I have no issue. As I stay in derby and get bout ready, if it becomes a problem I might have to pay to get a much more expensive and personalized knee pad. But I don't regret a single bit getting the ones I did.

The best advice I can give someone is to go to a skate shop that will allow you to try on the pads. One that will let you get down on the ground and make sure they work for you. Then you can decide the best ones for you.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

Not a setback, just different

I have to keep telling myself that today's practice is not a setback. Just something different. I am not going to be good at everything, I know this. But my head doesn't. Today was a practice of endurance. I am the fat kid and do NOT have the endurance that everyone else does. I know I need to work on the endurance, and I did. Just not to the degree that everyone else did.  We did a partner pyramid. Half of us were in the center and the other half were skating around the rink. After one lap we traded off and the partner did one lap. Next one was two, then three, then four, all the way up to five. Once you finished the five laps you go back down the number scale trading off. It was really hard. I did almost all the way up to the five. Almost, then had to take a break. But I didn't stop, I went back out and skated some more laps. That I was proud of.  After that they did five minutes of skating, a 180 knee fall, then five minutes skating the opposite direction. You can think five minutes of fairly fast skating maybe easy, but it is not. Not one bit. Instead of doing that I did squats in the center of the rink. Man, that was a torturous idea.  Ten minutes of squats. I was timing my squats to PP's laps. One lap of standing on my skates to give my legs and feet a break, and two laps of staying in a squat position. My legs were shaking so badly.  But I feel like I got a work out, and wasn't just being lazy or fat.

I have been having an issue with my feet. My right foot has been hurting when I skate. Not a blister type. Everyone keeps thinking that is what it is. Nope. It is kind of like a super tired feeling mixed with a cramp.  I asked around and figured I would try a thicker sock. Maybe my foot was sliding too much and trying to "grip" the bottom of my skate too much.  Didn't work at all. My foot still hurt. So after practice I went to Walmart and tried out that Dr. Scholl's foot sensor thing.  It tells you if you have any foot issues and what is the best insert. The downfall? Those inserts are $50. But it did confirm what I thought. I have very low arches. From my research online that could cause the foot cramping. So I got a pair of $10 ones and I think I will try it out. If it helps some, then I might invest in the expensive ones. I really hope this will help, the pain is almost unbearable. I will find out Thursday during practice how it works.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

At somepoint you have to jump in

So yesterday was the first major practice in a while. I have been missing for a few and then we had Jr. Derby. I decided that somewhere in there that I was going to try everything I could. I was kind of nervous about practice and how well I would do.  I had a friend come with me, she is thinking about joining derby. This makes me really happy and also gives me encouragement. She is the type of person that will support you and encourage you. Maybe that is part of the reason that I tried so much yesterday. I know that I had a realization that if I am EVER going to be bout ready I really need to jump in and just do it. 

We started practice with holding on each others hips and skating around. The person in front does most of the skating and the person in the back holds on. Getting used to this will help with being comfortable with getting close to your team mates and eventually being able to do hip whips.  I tried it out and didn't do too bad. I was afraid at first to be in front. Was I strong enough to pull someone else? Would I trip her with my skates? Would be both fall? Would it be my fault? Yes, No, No, No. It worked out really well. Beside getting tired from doing several laps in a good derby stance I did it very well. Well, I think I did. We didn't fall, we got practice in, and I understand a little bit more about how it is possible to skate close quarters and not trip others up.

Falls. Something I have done on my own, with no one around, and only a few times. Last night I actually did them with everyone else. I can't do as many as other across the floor. Getting up is still hard. But I did them. The one knee falls I can't just pop right up from them like the rest, but they will get there. The all four falls I can do as well. Again though takes me a little longer and a little more effort to get up. The baseball slide I can do, not very well at all, but I can do it. It will take a LOT more practice to get that one down and to be able to do the 180 turn. The only thing I didn't try last night was the barrel rolls. I think I need to be a little bit better at the rest of the falls first. I think that doing the falls and the pride I felt in doing it helped me with the scrimmaging.

Yup, that's right. Scrimmaging. I did it. I was super nervous to scrimmage, I haven't ever done it before.  I generally don't think I am good enough to scrimmage with the other girls. I'm not going to say that I was some miracle prodigy and kicked butt, because I didn't. But I did stay up, stay in the pack, and block people. I haven't done any of the blocks against another skater before, so I have no idea if I did it right. But I used my karate background and my big booty to my advantage. I did not want to try out being the Jammer. The Jammer is the one that starts at the back of the pack and on the second whistle their job is to pass the pack, hopefully first, score points, and call off the rest of the jam. But thanks to Femme, I was kind of forced/coerced into it. I was really really nervous at that point. Being the Jammer isn't the easiest of things. You are going to be hit, blocked, and pushed around. I wasn't sure if I had enough balance to do it, let alone enough courage to skate through the pack. But it's completely different when you are trying to skate through the pack. It's like a huge puzzle of moving pieces. You want to try to skate around the opposite team, hopefully when they are not looking and don't see you. I thought it was fun. I really liked the fact that I got through the first time with almost no problems. I wasn't the lead Jammer, but that is okay. I still had a job, and I still did it. Not once, but a few times. Jamming was fun, a lot more work, but fun. The last time I was a Jammer I was worried about the person that I was Jamming with. She is a very aggressive person. I don't think she means to be, just the way she is. Not only that, but she is a fast skater. Somehow, I think she let me, I got in front of her and made it to lead Jammer. There is no way that a Jammer at least 1/3 my size and a whole lot more skilled than me, didn't beat me through the pack on accident. But she did. I actually scored several points. I realized though that I lost where in the pack I was and which lap I was on. So I scored 5 points without realizing it. I was passed by the other Jammer and I called it off. Granted, by the time I called it off she got a few points. How many, I don't know, and it doesn't really matter. I was just happy with how I did. I am going to stop being afraid to try things. You can't get better if you don't push your comfort zone. Am I ready to jump yet? Probably not. Is that something I would try tomorrow? Probably not. But I will see. I will not be giving up, and I will not be sitting out because I am afraid. I will be a derby girl. I AM a derby girl!

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

Product Review: Duffel Bag

Under Armour Victory Duffel Bag: http://www.underarmour.com/shop/us/en/pth-victory-large-team-duffle/pid1218047-600


So this bag I actually didn't "buy." I got it through a point reward system at work, which is good because I recently graduated college and do not have money for a $55 dollar bag. BUT, I splurged with my points and got myself something that I needed but I knew I wouldn't normally buy. I am not a big stickler for name brand, but on a few items. I am super glad I got this though.

The bag I got was black and silver, I didn't really have a choice in the color. Thankfully my team colors are BLACK and red! The bag I had been carrying was a small Adidas sport bag. I have had it for years. I have used it for karate, overnight bags, and derby. It would fit my pads, a water, a small towel and if I was lucky my purse on a good day. (Keep in mind I say purse but it really is a cross the body hanging bag...purse is so... "girly".) Anyway my skates wouldn't fit in the bag. If they went in the bag, the pads wouldn't fit. If you know anything about derby pads, they are not small. You don't want them to be. The life of your joints are in the hands of the pads, the thicker usually the better. So this bag I got is amazing. I can fit my skates, my pads, two changes of clothes, a towel, water, my 'purse', my notebook for meeting minutes and agendas, and probably a friend. Well I can't literally fit the friend but you get the idea, LOTS of room. And if I didn't have size humungo jumbo feet I could probably fit more. It has an adjustable strap so I can carry where I feel comfortable, and remove it if I want to just carry it with the had straps. The best part? POCKETS!!! I love pockets. On my pants, on my bags, pretty much on everything. I also love zippers. This bag has a great combo of pockets with zippers inside pockets with zippers and a few pockets without for quick access to keys, phones, things like that. I haven't used the bag very much so far, but I love it. I am so happy with my purchase. I would completely recommend this bag. If you have small feet and small pads the medium will probably be the perfect size without being overwhelming. Without my gear I seriously could probably fit one of my small friends inside. So if you are size 8, you might not want a bag that you could crawl into. I suggest looking at them in a store to gauge what size you need. I didn't, but then again I didn't have that opportunity.

Later Skater
<3 Kiss My Blarney

I'mmmmm Baaaack!

So I know that I have been Missing in Action lately. There have been lots of things going on in my personal life. But I am back and I am happy to be back. I will still have some issues with work training interfering with a few practices, but that is only for a few more months.

Last night we had a make-up practice for Sunday since it was Mother's Day.  Our brand new Junior Derby team has practice so we did a joint practice. The first half was working on skills and the last half was our group doing a scrimmage to show them what it looks like. I'm still not good enough for scrimmages, but I did get to participate in the beginning of practice. One of the girls that was there was very worried about learning to skate and had only been a few times. On top of everything else it was her first day on her new skates. I completely understand that feeling and actually was excited to help her. DropHUR Dead Fred had her come skate with me for a little bit. I worked on her with her balance and trying to snow plow stop. I was super excited that she learned how by the time I was done. I really hope she continues to come back. I actually really enjoyed working with her. I really have missed that interaction with children, I think I might help out with Jr. Derby more often.  I feel like I have nothing to offer with the kids that skate all the time, but I think I might be able to help out the kids that are just learning. If anything I can relate to them. I may not be able to show them all the "cool" moves, but I definitely can explain to them what it is like and understand their fears. And who knows, children have a really neat way of always teaching the adults that teach them.

I am thinking of doing some product reviews of my gear. Granted they will be one sided until I can try out more equipment, but at the same time I will be able to explain what I like, don't like, and how it works for me.

Later Skaters!
<3 Kiss My Blarney

Excuse my political post (non derby related)

I know this won't be derby related. So if you aren't ready for it, skip it for now. This will probably be the only time I write anything political. I hate politics and I hate people thinking I force my opinion, whether religion, politics, or whatever on them. This was something that I posted on FB. If you are curious about what I am talking about you can find TONS of stuff online if you search amendment one in NC. Before you judge one way or another, make sure you look at both sides, the history of the amendment, and what it has done in other states.

Here is my full opinion, I have stayed out of this as much as I can. I hate politics. I do not pay attention to them most times. Part of that is why I did not vote. I didn't know in enough time to register in this state (NC). I am still registered in AR. That being said on the ballot was something that directly affects me. I have several friends who are gay, and likewise I have friends that are not. That being said, what was voted upon was considered by some a "gay issue". To some it was, and it shouldn't have been. Last week it was illegal for two people of the same sex to get married. So what was the point of this new amendment? This was an amendment, which meant it was political. Being something political means that the whole God thing stays out of it. Separation of Church and state, not State and Sinners. Those who used the bible and rubbed it other people's faces, this is America, we have the freedom of speech (which I am using right now) AND religion. Not everyone who voted was Christian. Stop making it seem that way. And stop using the bible to condemn others. You want to use the bible? Fine. Here are my two references to the bible. Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. AND Who do you honestly think Jesus would be hanging out with today? We are chastising an entire group of people. Just like the lepers where. Can you catch being gay? NO. If you think you are above Jesus, by all means judge who you want, throw that first stone. And while you are at it, keep cutting your hair and don't follow the kosher laws. Everyone sins, and I'm pretty sure that no sin is greater than another, so IF you think being a homosexual is a sin why are you still judging? If you want it to be a religious thing, then fine. Bring it up in your church, have a discussion, and vote on it there. My church did. That will take care of the Church view and aspect. Other than that leave it OUT of the laws. If you can show me proof, without using the bible why this amendment should pass I will listen. I will hear all sides.

All this being said, I don't judge anyone. If you voted for it, that's fine. That is your legal right. I just hope you made an educated decision before you voted. If you voted against, thank you for voting for continued freedom to make choices. One day we will be an advanced nation and everyone will be accepted for who they are, who they love, and where they live. When this issues comes up again, as I am sure it will, continue to read, listen to both sides, and STOP JUDGING each other. Stop the hate. I love each and everyone of you. ♥

Medical Update

So for all of you that were worried you can breathe a sigh of relief. There are no blood clots. Which is good news. But now I have NO idea why my leg was hurting so badly.  I have an old softball injury from several years ago. I got hit just below my right knee cap with a softball traveling about as fast as a baseball. I was the stupid pitcher that threw it baseball style to my friend, who has a VERY good shot. He hit it line drive back to me. I picked my leg up about two inches before it hit me. If I hadn't I am sure that it would have blown out my knee cap. Anyway, I still have had a softball size lump on my leg that was very lumpy inside of it. The doctors told me awhile back that it would probably never go away. It bled so much under the skin that my body couldn't reabsorb it so the leftover blood has basically gotten stuck inside my muscles.

I may be crazy, who knows, but I think that the bump is smaller and the lumps have traveled down my leg. That might be what is causing my pain. If it doesn't start to get better I will go back to the doctor to get it check and see what they can do. The original way to fix it would be surgery, but that surgery had no guarantee that my leg muscles would be okay afterward. Only time will tell on a thing like this. Meanwhile I have been trying not to push myself too hard, I really don't want to in anyway injure my leg anymore than it might be. I have a really bad habit of doing that...just look at my shoulder. But that is another story for another day.

That's all I have for now.... Later Skater ;)

<3 Kiss My Blarney!

Worry and a Little Bit of Stupidity

When you think there is something medically wrong what do you do? Go to the doctor and make sure everything is okay. What do I do? Wait and make sure it doesn't go away first. So I am sitting here dreading tomorrow, because if I don't feel better I have to go to the doctor who is most likely going to send me over to the hospital for some testing. Not very happy right now as I have had a history of blood clots in my leg. Luckily none of them have been Deep Vein, at least as far as we know. Of all of the times I have gone to the doctor it always has been shallow, thankfully. Deep Vein can be deadly, especially if they travel.

So the first time I was diagnosed with them was almost a year ago. I remember it very clearly and very scarily. I woke up one morning with my right leg cramping. I had woke up in the middle of the night because it had hurt, and still was sore the next day. So I figured it was phantom type pain and would go away. It didn't. In fact it got worse. I thought maybe I pulled a muscle while it cramped in the middle of the night, it can happen. Everyday it got worse. It was the week of Thanksgiving and I drove ten hours to get home to my parent's house. It got to the point where I couldn't walk straight anymore, my feet were out turned and my knees bent so that the pain in the calf would lessen when I walked. So Thanksgiving morning I got up and my mom took me across the river into Memphis to go to urgent care. Figuring they would tell me I pulled something, give me medicine and send me on my way. Nope. I was told to leave and drive to the ER. They would call them and go ahead and get me registered. I needed to be seen right away. O_o

So we drove to the hospital and I went inside. This hospital is basically midtown/downtown in Memphis. It had a metal detector at the front entrance to the ER. I was not used to that type of welcome at a hospital. I went to the window and they already had the wrist band ready for me. As soon as my mom walked in from parking the car they called my name. There was already a room ready for me and about five nurses waiting for me. That really freaked me out. After a bunch of blood tests, an ultrasound on my legs called a Doppler, and several exams later I was released with the diagnosis of blood clots and some very nasty painful shots. The doctor wanted to make sure that because of the drive home they didn't become deep. Twice a day for tens days I had to shoot myself with this medicine into my belly. Within an inch of my belly button to be exact. By the end of the ten days of putting fire into my stomach twice a day my belly was a very nice black and blue and tender all over.

For several months afterward every time my leg started hurting in the calf I would calmly walk into the ER and get my legs checked. It kind of freaks out a nursing staff if you walk in saying "I have a history of blood clots and my legs really hurt." Oh well. The last two times I went to the ER the Doppler was clear, and my legs were hurting and went down later. That is why I am not going yet. I want to make sure it isn't just a random soreness in my calves. But in the back of my mind I am a little worried. If it is blood clots that means I can't do derby for a bit. That I think worries me most. I had to stop Karate for awhile because of the stupid things. Granted, I could call my doc tomorrow, go get the Doppler and they say that my legs are clear and all this worry was for nothing. If I wake up tomorrow being able to walk without pain and my calves don't hurt then I know it was nothing and I am fine. If it is worse and hurts more to walk than it does now then I will be calling the doctor first thing. And I will update sometime this week on what happens, especially if I get told to take a break from Derby.

Skills and Evals 1

*This is labeled as "1" because as I continue in derby there will be a whole HELL of a lot more than just one skill and evaluation days.*

Sorry this is late, I was going to sit down yesterday to type out what happened Thursday to find out that a guy I went to school with was killed. After the news I kind of lost the momentum to write for a small bit, but I am back. Rest In Peace: Steffon M.

Thursday we had a guest Derby girl, a real life Derby girl. I know that I am a derby girl, but this is one who has been skating for a few years and on an actual league team!! She rolls with the BRRG in the big town in this area. I'm not going to mention her name, b/c I have no idea how she would feel about that. But for now she will referenced to as T.N. So, she came up to help with our evaluations to see what level we skate at. You should have seen our girls. We were all so nervous to be around her. This is a person that can skate 31/32 laps in five minutes. That is a little more that twice what I can skate! It was great having her there to help out. T.N. is a really cool person though, she also brought her daughter who just happens to be joining our Jr. Roller Derby team that started today. The world is just so full of derby, it is awesome!

The original plan was to warm up then everyone would be called up for their evaluation and then once those are done with a single person on the track then everyone would do the 25 laps in 5 minutes. I decided that I was going to refrain from the testing. I know that there are several skills I can't do yet, even for level one. I didn't need to know that I was below level one, or how far. I know what I need to work on. And most of those things I work on outside of derby on my own, but just don't feel like doing them with the girls yet. I haven't tried most of the blocks or hits yet, and falling I am just now starting to do. Next month I will try to see how I do though. I promise.

I was thinking about helping the league in maybe another way for a bit. But I don't want to limit myself and become like a permanent towel girl or something. We have to have Referees and NSOs. NSO is a non skating official. I doubt I could be a ref, they have to skate more than a derby girl, and I am not even ready to be a derby girl for a bout. I think I could be a NSO though. I wonder  if I could train with the girls where I feel comfortable, still be able to advance and still do something else to help the league. I know that there will be a while before I am bout ready, but I am not sure if this is the right move for me. I don't want it to seem like I am giving up on learning the on skates portion, because I am not. I just wonder if I can help the team out in a way better than I do now. I have a lot to think about for this. Can I be a NSO without loosing my derby skating self? Would I benefit in anyway from taking on another role? I already am the league secretary and have a lot of responsibilities. I guess I will think about this for a little while before I act on it in either way.

Tomorrow I will be missing practice to spend some time with my boyfriend. He has to leave for some Army training and I need to spend some time with him. I feel bad for missing a practice, but I let the girls know and they are okay with it. The good thing is everyone has a life outside of derby, and luckily they understand that this is important to me.

I will leave you with an awesome new saying: LATER SKATER :)

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

Way of Life

Derby isn't just a sport. It is way more than that, it is a lifestyle, and that derby 'bug' has bit me hard. I can't drive by *any* semi flat area without analyzing it for a place to skate. Every store I go into I look to see if they have a no skater sign. I walked through a mall in Knoxville, TN and was thinking about skating in between people and dodging signs and that it would be a great place to practice. They only problem I have considered with an 'everything derby lifestyle' is that it could lead me into trouble. Especially if I try to skate someplace like a mall. Most security people don't agree that public means anything the public wants to do is allowed. I have NO idea why. (Sarcasm, if you missed it.)

It is kind of a funny thing, every parking lot is analyzed: is it flat enough, smooth enough, big enough, and is it ever an empty lot? Thankfully since I work a night job I get LOTS of time during my nights off to drive around the town I live in or explore random places.

Thinking about where I could skate isn't the only derby thing that has invaded my life. It has applied greatly to my work. At work we are learning lots of new things, I feel way behind the rest of the people that I work with because they have done it for years. But, just like derby, I can't give up. It's a challenge. Derby is a physical challenge, but work is a mental one. I can't get frustrated when I don't get something, I have to keep trying and keep learning. It's a never ending cycle. That is one of the reasons I went for the job. I haven't had doubts about my job in general, just doubts about my ability. And that happens with derby too. You have to keep pushing and not give up, no matter how hard an aspect of the challenge is. The weirdest part about it is that I am finding so many similarities between the challenges and overcoming them in both. For the first time ever I am challenged in every aspect of my life and I am thrilled for this. I love constantly learning and reaching for things that are beyond my initial grasp. I am finally happy and I have a lot to thank derby for.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

Can't always get what you want.

Yesterday was derby practice, but thanks to work training I only could stay for like an hour. That made it very hard to do much. So I opted to take pictures of the girls as they did a few things. Because unless there are pictures, it didn't happen! (as my Boyfriend says) I hate it when I either can't go to derby practice or I can't fully participate in practice, but at least in some way I got to contribute. But let me tell you, these girls are freaking rockin' it! I am so proud of my team. I couldn't be happier with them. We are going through a few growing pains, but that happens with any new team. And in the world of derby we are still a baby. I hope that the growing pains stop soon, I think it is taking a toll on our team as a whole. People are getting frustrated with the issues going on. But on the flipside of that coin, I think it is helping to pull us together to be a stronger team, more close knit, and more willing to stand up for each other and the team. I am a roller girl and so is my team. We are sisters on skates and it will stay that way!

On a side note, let me just say how much I enjoyed taking pictures. It's been a long time since I have been able to play with someone's nice camera. I don't have a super duper nice DSLR, but other girls on our team do! So I got to enjoy one of my passions while helping out my new sport. That really helped me at my work training too I think. It relaxed me so I wasn't as overwhelmed and could concentrate more.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

Keep working on the hard stuff

Yesterday was yet another practice. So many awesome things happened. I'm finally feeling more comfortable with my regular skating, so I decided for the most part I was going to try what everyone else does. We did a few floor drills, and those I still have trouble with. I can walk cross overs, but only if I am near the wall. I don't trust myself enough to do it without falling. I can do the t-stops and the plow stops just fine. I am a little shaky still on doing the t-stops at a high rate of speed, but that will come later. Practicing falls is a scary thing to me. I did not attempt it yesterday at all. I'm not scared as much of the falling as I am the getting back up. It takes a lot of work for me to get up after I fall down, so why would I intentionally fall?

We played this awesome game called stick in the mud. It is kind of like the freeze tag you played as a kid, but instead of crawling under someone you have to skate two laps around them. It was a lot of fun. I have trouble skating small laps around people but I succeeded in "unsticking" a few people. Of course as the slow skater I got tagged a bunch. But it was still really fun, especially with the changing directions. Even if the Femme Reaper left me after only one lap around me and someone else had to save me.

After the games we did a scrimmage. I am not comfortable enough yet to scrimmage with the team. I don't feel like my skills are good enough to skate next to some of these girls and the whole falling thing weighs heavily on my mind. But I got the chance to take more pictures and watch a few jams.

I started my first official night as league secretary. I have some really great ideas and I really hope that I can bring those ideas and my past experiences and help the team grow. We had some sad news, one of our girls decided to resign. It's never an easy thing to see a group fall apart in anyway. But the girls have come together and I think that will make us stronger. Some stuff has happened to the team before I joined, things I don't have a right to talk about. But those things have impacted the group that I skate with. And I think that along with the girl who recently resigned will in the end help us to be a better team and a stronger team. We will miss her a lot, and she is always welcome back. That is how it is suppose to be in a family. Doesn't matter what happens or who gets mad at who. If you are family you forgive each other and you make up. I am proud to say that I am apart of this family of skating. <3

Today was my first day skating at the armory. My boyfriend had to go do some stuff there so I tagged along and brought all my skate gear. Since no one was using the floor I could skate while everyone was working and so I did. It was great. I realized a few things. It is hard to keep motivation when nobody is there to have fun with you. I need music, but I am scared to keep my MP3 player on me if I fall, so I will need to figure that out. And last but not least, I am braver when I don't have others to try to impress.  For the first time ever I tried falls. I tried both one knee falls, two knee falls (otherwise known as the rockstar), and falling on all fours.

I am a big girl and for a big girl to get up takes a lot of energy. Now add in wheels and a different position for your feet. I'm not going to lie, it was hard to get up. It took a lot of energy and I was tired after each try. I would have done more falls but I didn't want to keep getting up. As I go through everything and strengthen my legs it will get easier, but for now, a few falls is more than enough for me.  I have found a downfall with knee pads though. My knees are slightly off center and bend off to the side a little bit. Enough that when I fall my pads slide after I am on the ground. The pads still do their job and still protect my knees, but slightly awkward if I stay on my knee for any small length of time. I have to pay attention to how I have my knees if I get down on them so that the pads don't slide out from under me. This will take time to get used to. Maybe eventually if I can get customized knee pads, I will. But for now I will just live and learn.

Overall I feel like today was a success and I can't wait to skate again!

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

Breaks

So this week was lacking a lot in the skate department. I took off Sunday and Tuesday for a family vacation at a resort near by. I may have been out of town but derby was definitely on my mind. I got half of a new derby outfit, getting the rest this week. Scary part is it is a skirt, and I usually don't wear them. The cool part though, was that I got this bracelet that had a pair of lips on it! Perfect for my derby personality!

Of course when I went away I had to bring my skates, just in case the opportunity arrived to skate. But due to getting in trouble for noise issues I decided against skating in the hotel room. I didn't really want to get into too much trouble, especially since I don't know any of the law enforcement in the area we were in. So I saved skating till Thursday.

I have decided that I hate it when I take a break. I always feel like my feet don't know what to do anymore and I loose my confidence. I pretty much sucked at practice last night. First off it sucked that I had to leave early for work, and I will have to on and off for the next few months. But I am determined to find a comfortable place somewhere in my skating. I tried doing some of the skate exercises that the girls were doing. Some of them I can do, some I can't. This one was where half the girls stop when the whistle is blown and the other half have to skate in and around them. I didn't do too badly, other than my feet hurting while skating. My feet still have to get used to the boots on my skates and build up tolerance. Beside that issue, and the confidence, I think I am doing alright. Not good, but alright.

We officially have our first bout planned. July 7th. So close and yet so far away. I know that I will not be bout ready, but that is okay. I'm excited for our team to be able to do this!! I love these girls and can't wait for this. I was used to sitting out in karate due to injuries, so I have a lot of practice in being supportive. So I can do this.

Derby has been an awesome experience so far and I really can't wait for more. Keeping my fingers crossed that I don't let anyone down.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

The good and the bad

So yesterday, I decided to lay out of a practice and take some antibiotics that the doctors gave me for an infection. I didn't want to miss practice, but at the same time I wasn't feeling my best in anyway. I knew that my heart wasn't in skating and I really just needed to rest my body some so that it can heal. Ugh, I still hate missing practice for any reason. I feel like the girls depend on me to be there, as they should, and I am letting them down when I miss, even if there are reasons for it. I know that this next week I will be missing two practices because of a mini vacation and that for two weeks with a week break for the next several months I have to alter my work schedule just enough to make it difficult to go to a full practice. This really frustrates me, but it is life and in life you have to do what the real world requires, and that is going to work. So hopefully with my next pay check I can order a set of outdoor wheels so that I can skate more often. And this brings me to my good news!

My boyfriend is in the military and his armory close by. I went and talked to the Sgt that basically is over it and he very supportive of the families of the soldiers and apparently roller derby. Who knew? He was really excited that I bought one of our calendars for him too.  Anyway, he has offered me to be able to skate in the armory anytime by myself or with my team, just to call him so he can make sure it is unlocked. So nights that I don't have derby or work gets in the way I can still skate. Now I just have to get the courage to actually call him for me to get in to skate. But I am super excited about this. And skating there I won't need the outdoors wheels as soon as I thought, but it would be really nice to have them though.

I had been looking for awhile trying to figure out what kind of wheels I needed and was recommended to Atom Wheels. They have a HUGE collection of all sorts of wheels. Of that collection I was told to look into either the Poison or the Pulse. Never having bought wheels before I messaged them, not knowing if I would get a personal response or an automated one. To my surprise I got a personalized message and we responded a few times to figure out exactly what would work best for the surfaces I skate on (or will skate on.) They get high marks in my book for their responses and their willingness to help me figure out what was best for me. I will definitely be ordering from them in the future and would so far recommended them to anyone else. I will let everyone know how I feel about the wheels when I order them and get to try them out.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

You are your own biggest critic

I have finally started to get my mind out of my head. Tonight was the first time at practice that I finally felt that I didn't suck. I don't even know where to start about tonight, so let's start at the beginning. Still feeling those butterflies before practice, but the are lasting less and less, so maybe hopefully by the end of this month, or next, I will be able to not feel all jittery when practice starts. So we did a fairly light warm up and went back to the basics. My Sensei always said that to be a master, you had to first master the basics. So that is what we did today. Which is a very good thing, especially considering I am still working on the basics. I'm getting much better at my T-stops and the plow stop. The plow stop was the easier of the two in concept and harder in muscle usage; it wears out your thigh muscles fast. If somebody ever says skating is easy I give you permission (not really though) to punch them.  It takes so much to skate, hold your balance, bend your knees so you can stay low, know where everyone is around you, do crossovers, long strides, and be able to do it all with control and confidence.

Tonight we timed our laps for the first time. 25 laps around the track in 5 minutes, that may sound easy, but it is NOT. Granted when I started this I knew that wouldn't be easy, but I had never tried to time my laps. The girls on my team did a freaking great job on this. Some people did 25 laps with time to spare, some made it, and some have laps to go. I feel fairly comfortable saying that I was the slowest, but that makes me proud of the rest of the team. I didn't do horrible, don't get me wrong. I didn't stop until five minutes were up. It was a long five minutes though. Afterward, I was talking to some of the girls about the laps and we were comparing which parts of our bodies decided to "go out" first. The others said something about their thighs, calves, or ankles. Yes, my legs were weak and by the end I couldn't do crossovers, but the worst part for me was my breathing. I hope that means that there is hope for my skills. But as soon as I got my breathing under control my legs went numb. I know that the breathing was more pressing for my body to pay attention to than the muscle fatigue. And you are probably thinking muscle fatigue, it's only 25 laps. But I challenge you to try to do it.

After all that we worked on some drills. Crossover drills running sideways across the floor and jumping sideways drill. I practiced mine next to the wall, I don't have the balance (or confidence yet) to do it on my own freewill and without that crutch of the wall. One day, one day. At least one day at a time. I started out practice holding on to the wall for support while I tried balancing on one skate and then went to doing it without the wall, just next to it. After awhile of doing the rest of the stuff we did tonight I was able to skate with my long strides balancing on different feet and balanced enough to pick up my foot. Just like I used to do. Doing that made me so proud of myself, and made me feel like I was getting back in the game (of skating that is.)

We all had a big conversation, about what our fears are, about why we second guess ourselves. It was a BIG comfort to realize we all fear the same thing. All of us seemed to fear falling in some way. Some fear getting hurt, some fear looking stupid (which I can tell you I do look stupid when I fall, and I AM the master of that), and I think some fear the same thing I do. I fear not being able to get back up. Like I said before the worst thing when you fall is to fall again when you try to get up. That is my fear. That I either will keep falling or that I just won't be able to get back up. Not injured in a way that I can't get up, but in that my legs are too weak, I can't get a holding, or my foot slipped way. That is my fear. I admit it. And now I am going to get over it. I can't be confident in what I do if I have a fear hanging over my head.

Another thing I worry about is that the girls think I suck, am not trying, or that I am just *not* doing what they do. But after talking with Big Steve I know that I do what I can and to the best of my ability and that's okay. If someone has a problem with that that it's not my issue. I am trying and not giving up. And I don't plan on giving up at all. So that worry might take sometime to get over as well but they are all things that I will work on and hopefully overcome. Thankfully I have several people on the team that support me, and support my fears. I can't thank Big Steve and Alaia the Slaya' enough for just being there and encouraging me and letting me know that it's okay. I have a long way to go, especially to be like some of the girls on the team. But as I said before, I don't plan on giving up at all. I love derby and I love skating.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

On a side note I did 15 laps in 25 minutes. That is my starting point. Now let's see if next time I can gain a lap.

Got to be flexible

Well last night went great, at least while I was there. We sold several calendars, got a lot of donations, and had a good time. Although I didn't end up announcing after all. I sold calendars and just basically got to run around and talk to everyone. Thankfully I have an amazing boyfriend who helped me sell the calendars so that I wasn't left out of the fun with the girls as they mingled with everyone. I got to be there for the announcement for all the girls but when it came down to the actual demonstration I had to go to work. I'm glad I left then, because if I didn't I wouldn't have made it to work on time.

Today was another bust on working out, but it's okay. Still not feeling perfect, and decided that in the grand scheme of things I need to make sure that I still have a great relationship with my boyfriend. Especially since I just added derby three nights a week instead of hanging out with him before work. So we went out and had a date. Sometimes you need to just live your life and make plans on the go.

Tomorrow is derby practice, and I get those butterflies just thinking about it. I want to do a good job there and prove to everyone I am worth being on the team. I know that I am a member of the team, really no matter how well I skate right now, but I want to be a productive member. One that may eventually get to play. I would love to be on A squad, although I don't know if I will get that far anytime soon. We have several skills we have to be able to accomplish to move to different levels. Right now I am not even a level one. I would be very happy to get to level four eventually, but I think right now that is a LONG way off. But still something to work toward. (See below for Level Breakdowns)

But on another note, I was voted League Secretary. So I am in charge of our entire league and all the paperwork, organization (which has a LOT to be done), and keep everything figured out. It's going to be tough, but I am very excited! Once we get everything organized and figured out I think it will be a smooth journey.


Level 1
Successful/safely execute all falls ( upon passing may start performing contact with other skaters)
    1 knee fall ( right)
    1 Knee fall (Left)
    Baseball Slide
    four points
    Barrel/monkey roll
Successful/safely execute 2 stops
    t-stop
    Snow Plow
Skating posture and form
Skating "the Track"
Practice attendance of 75% or higher
Crossover/Stride
Minimum of 1 month skating with League

Level 2 (eligible for scrimmage )
Clear/Pass Skills/Evals Test Level 1
Practice attendance of 75% or higher
Minimum of 1 month skating with League
25 laps in 5 minutes
Execute legal hits
Execute Safe assists
Backwards skating
Toe Stop Stop
Join and/or Lead a committee
Jumps/Hops/Juking

Level 3 ( eligible for team placement and bouting)
Clear/Pass Skills/Evals Test Level 1 & 2
Practice attendance of 75% or higher
Minimum of 1 month skating with League
Join and/or Lead a committee
25 laps in 5 minutes
Able to execute strategic jamming  as blocker & Jammer)
Utilize both a jammer and Blocker positions
Actively Scrimmaging and/or bouting for a minimum of 1 month

Level 4 ( Eligible for Travel team and all stars)
Clear/Pass Skills/Evals Test Level 1, 2 & 3
Practice attendance of 75% or higher
Join and/or Lead a committee
Minimum of 2 months skating with League
50 laps in 10 minutes
Actively Scrimmaging and/or bouting for a minimum of 2 months
Actively mentoring as Big sister ( Jr Derby, if Applicable) for a minimum of 1 month
Attend Minimum of 3 events ( excluding bouting and/or scrimmaging)

Level 5 ( top rating )
Clear/Pass Skills/Evals Test Level 1,2, 3 & 4
Practice attendance of 75% or higher
Join and/or Lead a committee
75 laps in 13minutes
Minimum of 3 months skating with League
Actively Scrimmaging and/or bouting for a minimum of 3 months
Actively mentoring as Big sister ( Jr Derby, if Applicable) for a minimum of 3 months
Attends Minimum of 4 events ( excluding bouting and/or scrimmaging)

Train Wreck

So this week kind of ended up being a train wreck, especially when it came to working out and practice. Wednesday was a not derby practice day and it stayed that way. Slept most of the day and worked. Then last night WAS derby practice night, but I felt horrible. So I tried to sleep a little extra before going to work. I hated missing last night, especially since tonight is so important.

Tonight the ladies and I are having our first public appearance and fundraiser! Everyone is meeting at the skateway to buy our calendars, see a demonstration, and get autographs. I am very excited about this. Luckily today I don't feel as bad as I did yesterday. I'm still exhausted and not feeling wonderful, but life must go on. I had to make an important decision on Tuesday. To try to demonstrate what I do know in front of however many people: strangers, families, and friends; OR find another way to be useful without completely embarrassing myself. So I took the latter idea and ran with it. They didn't have anyone to announce the intros and the demonstration. So I volunteered. I know, I am a derby girl, and I am suppose to skate, but you know what? This was important to them too. I feel that I can still be a part of the group, just in a different dynamic. Anyway I have to leave early for work, and I doubt they want me coming in soaking wet in sweat. So tonight I am apart of something, just in a different way. Which is fine by me. Now I only hope that I don't screw up the announcing....

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

Getting Better

When I used to play softball, before every game, I would get nervous. My heart would beat fast, my chest felt like it was bandaged tightly, and my stomach would have butterflies in it. For about an hour before until the game started and then every time I went up to bat. This is how I feel the hour before EVERY derby practice. I think I have figured out why though. I strive to do well, to not look stupid or fat, not fall on my butt repeatedly, and most of all to make my team proud. But I have noticed that at the beginning of our practice when we do our off skates workout it gets rid of those jitters and I am able to do a little better.

Thankfully, tonight Femme Reaper asked our workout leader to chill a bit and not do the four lengths of iron mikes across the rink. (We had so many falls after that workout...nobody could stand upright.) So the workout wasn't easy, but it wasn't a killer either. Then we started skating. Luckily there was another newby there tonight. So I wasn't alone in the middle of the rink practicing my skills that everyone else has down. But I was proud tonight!! I am finally starting to feel more confident in myself and in my skates. I think things are starting to come back. I haven't fully mastered my T-stops, but I am much closer in being comfortable doing them. I apparently can still do a tight turn and can still stop by turning. Which seems to be the only thing my feet remember how to do without me being off balance. And then it comes 'down' to the T-stop; Trying something that I used to do all the time. Something that I had to completely relearn. My body doesn't put my feet like that anymore. There isn't a single stance like that in karate, at least not with feet both flat on the ground and your weight on the front foot. O_o So anyway, I was practicing this move over and over and getting more comfortable. Then I start to second guess myself, I loose my confidence, my balance, and I looked down. If there is one thing that anyone teaches you, it's DON'T LOOK DOWN. It will completely set you off balance. So I did. Of course. And what happened? I wiped out and fell on my right butt cheek. Of course the one that is bruised from last practice. It wouldn't, couldn't be the other side. Nope, the right butt cheek is apparently my strong side, my go to side when it comes to falls. Oh joy.

But anyway, what is the biggest fear when you fall on skates? That you would fall while trying to get back up. Yup. Not a fear when it happens. That is when you give up, lay down for a second and just laugh at yourself. I think I scared them though. This crazy person just fell twice on the same spot and she is laying there laughing? Yup, I sure did and sure was. But I got back up and did some more. Yeah it hurt, but not enough to make me want to stop. For that to happen I have to almost break something, or actually break it. Although when I have broken bones and joints I don't think I cried even half the time. Guess that is something I will either never find out, or find out soon enough.

I do wish I was at the same level the other girls are. They were doing a GREAT job. They learned how to shoulder and hip check each other, how to pull themselves around a team mate, how to whip someone, and how to push. And they were jumping over broomsticks. The biggest kicker was when Polly Pounder laid down and had the girls jump her. I wasn't comfortable enough to jump the broom, and I sure as hell wasn't going to try jumping Polly. I know I would have planted a brand new skate dead into a rib.

I must say, even though I am not up there with the girls they are the most supportive team I have ever been apart of. It doesn't matter that I don't have the skills yet like them, that will come. But they are happy that I show up, do what I can, and keep trying. That is the biggest support system I have ever had. I am so thankful for this sport and for them. Keep it real! Next practice is sure to be even more entertaining.

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

The days in between practice

So I know that as a big girl I don't have all the muscles I need in all the right places. I have to work on my upper thigh muscles, above most other things. Ugh. Well anyway, tonight is not a derby night, and instead of going to the rink today on my own, I ended up sleeping. Which will happen when you work nights. So I know that I *should* get up and so some squats and work on those things. Maybe some iron mikes.

I never liked them in High School when 1SG made us do them, and I sure didn't like the day we did four lengths of the skate rink either. But, the no pain no gain crap is stuck in the back of my head. And it's not like I am doing this for anyone else other than me. This is for me to do so that I can be better. I maybe sore from last night, but I need to do this. And the weird part of this is that the more I type on here, the more I have convinced myself to get up and do something. I may not be feeling up to practicing falls right now (especially at 12am), but I think some squats and iron mikes is a good idea. And it is some what of a selfish reason. Yes, I want to be good at derby, I want to prove to people I can, and I want to be a good player, maybe eventually make it to A team. But I also don't want to be the one that can't get up when she falls down and needs help, I don't want to be the slowest person getting up, and I sure as hell don't want to be the weakest member of the team. But it doesn't always matter the reason, if the over all thing is good right?

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney

Welcome to the dark side of skating!

I have had a few practices already. Enough to know that I love Derby and being a Derby girl, and enough to know that it doesn't fully like me: yet. I have only had one of the four practices where I walked away uninjured and unbruised. Let's see, the first practice I bruised the bone right under my knee it took two weeks to heal enough to wear the pads when I finally got them. The second practice I slipped in a quite humorous way, against the wall and sliced my finger open. Although, at the time, I didn't know I was the one bleeding and proceeded to ask who was. And my fourth night (tonight) I finally got my skates. So of course learning how to skate on new skates, as oppose to rental skates, creates a little more of a learning curve. And my right butt cheek has a nice bruise to show exactly how hard of a learning curve.

But all in all I am enjoying myself and completely enjoying my team. We are a start up team right now which is wonderful news for me. This takes a lot of pressure off of me to be "perfect" for a tryout. Which is good news for the plus size person I am that is relearning everything. I finally have all my gear and am ready to keep practicing and trying.

I was afraid that they wouldn't have pads for big girls like me. But I was wrong. Thanks to 187 pads I have knee pads that fit and protect me. Which is very important in ANY contact sport. There is an awesome skate shop not too far from where I derby at that helped fit me to the right size helmet and pads. I couldn't suggest anything better than having the right style and the right fit safety pads. You have got to protect the joints that let you play.

Practice in general tonight was great, at least for the other girls. Don't get me wrong, I improved over last week with rental skates, but I didn't get to work on the skills. I'm not upset that they get to and I don't, I'm just upset at myself that I am not good enough. I know, I know: keep at it I'll get better. But tell that to my mind that I can't seem to get out of my head. I keep second guessing myself and that makes it difficult to skate with confidence. My plan for the next few days until our next practice is to walk around the house, do chores, and just basically everything in my skates. That way A) I can break them in and 2) can get more confident. I will leave you with something that our founder's son told her. He is a jam skater and very confident. She asked him how he got so confident. And he said. "It's all about trusting your skates."

~ <3 Kiss My Blarney