My feelings of missing skating and derby are stronger every day. I must keep going with my path so that I can get back to it and be healthy. I must. On that supportive and positive note:
Today was one of those feeling down about my workout days. I added in weights...Not as good as it was when I stopped several months ago. Didn't expect it to be, but still feel less of a 'strong' woman that I thought I would. I also started to split my exercises up and alter what I push myself on. I started on the treadmill. Here is my biggest let down of the day. Ready for it? I ran for a minute. One single lousy minute. (I held on to the railing the whole time as to not fall.) I could complain that my foot was bugging me, that I had already fast walked over half a mile, I haven't really "ran" in like 8 years. But it doesn't matter what I say, what excuse I come up with (no matter how true), I suck. That's how I feel. Yes, I know I am starting out and can't expect to be great. But I can't help but notice that I am not even on the scale of greatness....at all. Hopefully that is the biggest YET of my life. I am not expecting to go run marathons. Maybe, just maybe, eventually, possibly make it to do a 5k, in like 10 years.... Okay, maybe not 10 years, but still. I just want to be able to. Be "normal" in a world where I try to be unique. Funny how life works.
Weights. The anti-fun for a shoulder that had surgery. From what I have figured out so far, the best way to stabilize the joints is to strengthen the muscles around the tendons and work VERY hard to not hyperextend joints during weights, or any exercise for that matter. I am back to a simple 3lbs weights for my extended arm exercises. But last time that worked up pretty fast, so I am not too worried about it. Feel a little weak and wimpy, but not compared to that stupid minute.
Seriously, what is a freaking minute? When you are doing something you hate or that hurts it is the LONGEST 60 seconds. When you are having fun a minute is a blink of time. When you try to beat the clock the time goes slower than when you are wishing time would stand still. A minute of itself can mean so much. Is it a New York Minute? Or a California Minute? When you knock a minute off of your time running, or skating it's a big thing! When you run for that straight it's a little thing. The fact that I have shaved a whole minute of my mile doesn't mean much when that minute was virtually spent running and that being the only minute of running.
It's funny, every time I think of running I always think of my 1SG from high school JROTC. There were many lessons he taught me and the other students. A big influence. But one thing that I never could do in class was run. I knew I couldn't. I knew I would suck. So I never did it. I did enough to seem like I tried. 1SG would try all he could. I dream of the day that I can go to him and say, watch me run this mile, WITHOUT stopping. I one day want to make him proud. Make myself proud. Be able to do something I have never been able to do. Be a trendsetter in my life. Is there anything in your life you want to be a trendsetter for? What do you strive for? What do you have to prove? Or loose?
~ <3 Kiss My Blarney
No comments:
Post a Comment