So I am a little worried about getting deeper into exercising. I am afraid to hurt myself. As most of you know already I always seem to be injured. I have two different conditions that I think highly affect my ability to work out, stay healthy, and pretty much do anything else.
Hypermobility. When I was 13 I was sent to a physical therapist for my back. I was having chronic back pain and they found that I had osteoarthritis in my upper spine. At the physical therapist they did some joint tests and figured out that all my joints are hypermobile. Basically I can bend more than I am suppose to. I am more flexible than most people of my size. I am a big girl and I can touch the floor. There are lots of times when I feel my knees give when I walk, my hip can pull itself out of socket slightly when I go up or down stairs, and my ankles are usually swollen because I strained it without knowing. (This goes hand in hand with the fact that some muscle groups are extra tight, like my hamstrings.) I'm not necessarily afraid pulling joints out of socket. Been there, done that, had surgery to fix it. I am more concerned about whether I am going to accidentally strain something. I want to strengthen my muscles, not tear my tendons. But because of the Hypermobility it makes it very hard. My joints are not stable. I can roll my ankle just standing still. My knees go back to far, I don't know where my knees "lock" standing up. And with my recent back strain this concern is getting more and more real. I am ready for a change. I want to be healthier.
The other condition is Raynaud's. Some call it a disease, or syndrome, or even phenomenon. Either way it sucks. Raynaud's is when your blood vessels constrict when cold. I usually am cold. If I sit still for any length of time I will get cold, it could be 80 degrees out. When I get cold I have an "attack." It can be just my hands turning white then blue, or my skin turning purple. Sometimes when it's cold my hands get stiff, like not being able to control it stiff. My fingers are hard to bend and control. I can barely hold pencils or type when it gets too bad. When my hands get stiff they seem to swell up and turn red. If I get too hot my hands swell where I can't grip. I can't open bottles to drink, hold pencils, or do anything that requires tight grip. My feet are a completely different story. My feet are ALWAYS cold. I hate it when my feet get hot or sweaty so I usually never wear socks or shoes unless I'm freezing. My feet are usually blueish or purpleish color, unless they get hot then turn red. I have noticed when I work out my feet go numb sometimes. I think that is because of Raynaud's. It also sucks to get into a warm shower when I am cold. I can't just turn on the hot water and get in. It burns too much. I have to start at lukewarm and go up from there. It hurts to go from really cold to really hot. My hands will get too cold, then go numb. If I go inside a hot building they turn red and get so hot that I can't cool them off. And that change is not comfortable at all. One reaction that I have is my legs and arms itch when I get hot, especially if in a cold room. When I was a kid everyone I asked blamed it on the fact that I was a big kid. Either I was too big and didn't exercise enough, my pores were blocked, or something else. Now I know different. It gets annoying. My friends and I will dance on the xbox and my arms will itch like crazy as they warm up and blood starts flowing. That's more annoying than painful.
I am starting to think that I need to seek medical help to find out safe ways to deal with both of these issues while starting an exercise routine. I don't want to have another joint injury... I am pretty sure the physical therapist and the orthopedic doctor are tired of seeing me by now. And I feel half the time that it's in my head. I know it's not, but I fear that it is sometimes. Put always having joint injuries, plus random accidental injuries, and normal sickness... I'm pretty sure I spend more time at doctors than most "normal" people. With both these issues they can be symptoms of bigger issues. Hopefully they aren't. At this point none of my doctors and specialist feel that they are connected to anything bigger, but that can change as more symptoms come to light.
All I want is to be able to be healthy. If I hurt or feel like a joint is not right, I am not making excuses. I am trying to preserve what is left of my already difficult body.
I am a little worried about people reading this. I tell people who ask, usually about my cold hands, but this is different. I don't want pity about it. And I am severely afraid that people will think I am just making excuses for my size, my health, my workout habits. I know there is a lot of changes that need to be done in my life besides my workouts, like eating habits. But I am going to be doing the best I can. All I ask is peoples support and understanding.
If you would like to read up a little on both of my issues here are two links for each. There are several sites out there with information on both of them.
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/raynaud/
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/raynauds-disease/DS00433
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003295.htm
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hypermobility/AN01646
~ <3 Kiss My Blarney
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